If you missed the first part of my blog series, Autism from
a Mom’s Perspective: Defining Autism, click here.
This second part I hope to answer YOUR questions. These are questions that are commonly asked
and again are answered in my own “Mandi” terms and based on my opinions, my
research, and most importantly based on my daily observations in raising a son
with autism. I do not pretend to be an
expert in anything except being the absolute best mommy I can be for Paxton.
How did you know
Paxton had autism?
I knew Paxton was different from the time he was an
infant. I can’t pinpoint when, but
definitely way before he was one. I
didn’t know exactly what and certainly didn’t think autism, but I always knew
he was different.
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| Paxton's First Birthday |
As an infant, Paxton never put things in his mouth. Ever. He was always a clean eater. He was so clean that we never had to put bibs
on him. He licked his lips after every
bite. He never liked touching his food
and smearing his hands in his food. The
classic one year birthday picture of the baby elbow-deep in chocolate cake with
frosting in his hair, up his nose, and all over his torso? Nope.
Not my boy.
As a toddler, Paxton played very differently. He wasn’t much into toys. The toys he did play with? He could play with one toy for hours. Literally, hours. The same toy.
There was one precise moment for me. I remember it so vividly. It was the moment that I could actually see
in his eyes that something wasn’t quite right.
When Paxton was just shy of turning 2, we used to take him
to Gymboree Play & Music. There was
another child about his age that was holding a ball. Paxton went up to her and took that ball
right out of her hands. Sounds like
typical 2 year old behavior, right?
No. This was different. I could see in his eyes that Paxton did not
even SEE that little girl. He did not
know she was there. He did not know she
existed. He wasn’t being mean or
vicious. He wasn’t being possessive. I could see that all he could see was that
ball. He saw that ball is if it was just
sitting on a shelf. I continued to watch
him in the coming weeks and he really didn’t acknowledge that any other kids
were around him playing. He was in his
own world. He wasn’t shy, wasn’t rude, just
completely in his own world. It was that
day I became concerned.
How do you feel about
vaccines?
No. Vaccines do not
cause autism. At least not in our
case. I recognized Paxton as being
different long before he was vaccinated.
I know this is my opinion and I am entitled to mine just as you are
entitled to yours so I will leave it at that.
I would appreciate if you not assume I am an uneducated
idiot. Before I had Paxton vaccinated I
did my own research and I spoke with our pediatrician before vaccinating him. Based on that, vaccines do not cause
autism. Since Paxton has been diagnosed
I have done further research on vaccines and have spoken with more doctors,
psychologists, and therapists and experts than most of you will ever meet in
your lifetime. They have all confirmed
that vaccines do not cause autism.
How was he diagnosed
so early?
Paxton was diagnosed at the age of 2 years and 3
months. Some kids are diagnosed at the
age of 18 months and sometimes as early as 12 months. Looking back now and knowing what I know now,
I can see how kids can be diagnosed way earlier. The earlier the diagnosis, the better. Early intervention is so important when it
comes to these kiddos.
Friends and even some family thought I was nuts for having
Paxton evaluated so young, but I am so glad I did. With the help of therapy, Paxton is doing
AMAZING! He has come so far in the last
year.
How did you know to
get him evaluated?
At Paxton’s 2-year well child visit I expressed concerns to
our pediatrician because Paxton did not talk.
He understood a lot, but only spoke about 10 words. Based on that and some other behavioral
concerns, like Paxton’s lack of interest in toys and food, the doctor suggested
we get him evaluated so that IF Paxton had autism then we could get him help as
soon as possible. Again, early
intervention is so crucial in the outlook of these kids’ lives!
What is his
diagnosis/outlook?
When Paxton was diagnosed he was at a Level 2 – meaning some
of his symptoms and behaviors were moderate, but some were pretty severe and if
left “untreated,” per say, could have a very negative outcome in his adulthood. Now if he was reevaluated I am sure he’d be
Level 1 – very mild, high-functioning.
What is early
intervention?
Early intervention is a gift from God. Early intervention is EVERYTHING. There are no big enough words that I can say
to express just how wonderful and important early intervention is. I could write a whole other blog on this!
Paxton had two therapists from Missouri’s First Steps. I owe those two angels everything I own. One of his therapists specializes in working
with kids with autism. She came to our
house twice a week. She actually taught
us how to communicate with Paxton. She
actually gave him a voice. She helped
him to work through his behaviors and helped him learn to learn. That’s not a typo. Learn to learn. She helped him to know how to function in
this world we call “normal.” Paxton also
worked with an occupational therapist.
She came out once every other week and helped Paxton with his issues mostly
relating to sensory processing disorder.
She worked with him on eating and
exploring different textures with his mouth, hands, and feet. These two ladies are the most knowledgeable,
amazing, patient people I’ve ever met.
Have you
heard/read/seen? Do you know?
No. No. No. No. Stop
there. I appreciate your trying to help
and relate, but I don’t want to hear your stories of a youtube video you saw of
a kid who has autism, blah blah blah. Or
the book you read about bluh, bluh, bluh.
I don’t need or want a support group. There is absolutely nothing wrong with support groups. I just don't need one. We are getting through life just fine.
I am not letting autism define my son or my family.
I’m really not trying to sound crass or harsh here. Rather, I am trying to be honest and open
about my personal experience with my son’s autism diagnosis. Don’t be afraid to ask me questions. I’m happy to share what I know and my
experiences. It’s the advice I didn’t
ask for and the “support” that’s not supportive at all that gets me a little
edgy.
The only support I need comes from Jesus Christ. I try to take one day at a time, one moment at
a time. The support I need from you is your
prayers. Great things are to come for my
little boy! Philippians 1:6 says “being
confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion
until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Next week I am excited to share with you a day in the life
of Paxton through pictures! The Good,
The Bad, and The Typical Toddler.
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